All Bets Are Off For 2022

Last year at this time we were all glad to see 2020 go away. We were moving forward with new hope, new leadership, and new perspectives of how life would be post pandemic. We never imagined that we’d be experiencing a brand new variant of COVID that was breaking infection records, or that our country came so close to experiencing what we thought could only occur in third world nations. There were fantasies and hopes of amazing summer vacations, as many of us, including myself, struggled to recover from a virus that so many denied even existed. Now 2021 is about leave us with a collective bitter taste in our mouths, and many of us are wondering if 2022 will be any better. Perhaps it’s time to stop wishing for things to get better, and focus on what IS working right now in this exact time and moment in our lives.

So let’s try and think about something that is working right… well science for one. It brought us amazing breakthroughs, including not one, but several vaccines to combat a virus that has killed millions worldwide. The same science that saves countless lives through medical advances in cardiac care, cancer research, and organ transplants to name a few. It’s been an amazing year for science, but as physics teaches us, every action has an opposite and equal reaction. So while science advanced, people became dummer. They arbitrarily accepted science that would save lives from every other disease on Earth, except COVID. Because somehow, COVID science is actually bad for you, and it’s better to join the millions that have died from this disease, than to get a shot to prevent it.

Space exploration. Okay, more science, but we sent Captain Kirk to space ya’ all!!! We heard the words of an artist, poet and songwriter describe the Earth from a distance!!! This was mind blowing and a huge step in the right direction for the entire human race. Okay so people got dummer on this one too… at least humans are consistent. While sharing memes about billionaires blasting into space on penis shaped rockets instead of spending money on other issues here on Earth, people forgot one thing… technology advanced thanks to these “dicks”, and they didn’t have to pay for it. NASA is tax payer funded ya’ all, and everything we have learned about space which has resulted in greater technology here on Earth, came from your pockets. So put your memes away for a second, and realize the technology these people are developing, which is at little or no cost to you, will enrich the lives of everyone on this planet eventually. How about we use some of that misplaced criticism and energy on the Kardashians or The Bachelorette instead?

“So while science advanced, people became dummer.”

Speaking of space, perhaps the last thing I can think of that’s working and good in 2021, is that “Lost In Space” came back on NetFlix, albeit for its final season. This show is the best sci-fi program since the reboot of Battlestar Galactica, because it touches us at the core of what we used to cherish the most, our families. You remember those? Families? You know the humans you loved so much before you realized they were part of a cult that worshipped a man that is the living incarnate of evil and sin? Yeah those people. Lost In Space brought us back to good old fashioned unconditional love, great parenting, and families that stayed together while fighting evil robots trying to destroy all intelligent life. Fuck yeah! We so miss those times, and perhaps we need the future… like the very distant kind, to set us back on the course to our own humanity.

This New Year’s eve, we’ll all say good bye to 2021, but I’m not going to hope for a better 2022… that didn’t work at all last year. This time around I’m going to devote my attention to what IS working, what didn’t let me down, and what brings me joy. My faith and spirituality, my partner Eric, and our dogs, and yes… men and women flying in giant penis shaped rockets.

Hello 2019 – Cleaning Out My Vibrational Closet

It’s been a while since I last cleaned out my vibrational closet, let’s see… what could possibly be in there? Oh yes, how could I’ve forgotten… that FaceBook post I wrote in August, I’m sure it’s still pissing off at least three or four people a day. Oh wow and look at that, a Yelp! review that will forever tarnish the reputation of a server I had at that new restaurant in town. Perhaps they were having a really bad day, but now the internet makes it easier than ever to reproduce that horrible experience like a karmic photo copier… over and over. Thinking about this might make you smile with satisfaction and rub your hands together like an evil villain in the original Batman TV series, or it just might make you realize that your actions are putting out bad vibrations over and over… that far outweigh any inconvenience or bitter cappuccino. Are you really making the world a better place? Or are you polluting the Universe with negative energy that will eventually find its way back to you? My bet is on the latter, which is why I’ve decided to clean out my vibrational closet as part of my New Years resolutions.

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Good Nutrition Is An Uphill Climb

Each day, consumers are offered more and more ways to make better choices and eat healthier, which will hopefully lead to a longer life with less visits to the doctor. Organic versions of our favorite foods are increasingly popular and available, even foods that you didn’t even think could be organic are showing up on supermarket shelves. While walking through the beautiful pristine isles of Target recently, I spotted an organic version of Capri Sun fruit drink. Yes, the sugar and chemical mix of yesteryear is now organic. But is it any better for you? Healthy labels may sound great, but more choices actually means more research for the person trying to do the right thing. As it’s often noted, food has a story and you should know the characters involved and the journey its made, before it ends up in your stomach.

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The Piscean Prison

Being a Pisces can be a bitch. Plain and simple. As I get older it seems it just gets harder and harder to deal with the outside world and all of the horrors available to us through social media and news outlets. Pisces are idealistic lovers, we quite literally love love. We love everything about love and everything about being in love. We love people we don’t even know and we can smother those we do with so much love that they run away. And it doesn’t stop there. Since we love to spread love so much we become paranoid when we may have not spread the love inadvertently. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve lost sleep thinking I said or did something to someone that hurt their feelings or pissed them off. The idea of intentionally hurting someone, or stepping outside of the “love” zone really turns our world upside down.

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North Pole Data Breach Affects Billions

November 22nd, 2017 – 1:56 PM North Pole

Turns out no one is immune to the sting of cyber crimes according to representatives from the North Pole who reported a massive data breach on Tuesday. Hackers have reportedly stolen personal information from over 1.5 billion children around the world in what elves described as “naughty” behavior. The attack, thought to have originated in China, sought to gain marketing information obtained from millions of letters to Santa, regarding children’s preferences on a variety of toys, most of which are made there. “It’s very disturbing” said Mrs. Claus, before offering reporters hot chocolate and cookies, “children have a right to privacy also.”

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The Need To Control

I was looking for parking the other day at the local grocery store and immediately located a middle aged man, with just a few groceries, loading his vehicle. This was probably the most simple and mundane of tasks, not requiring much effort since the amount of plastic bags he had in his cart was probably fewer than twelve. Yet he seemed to relish in the idea that I was anxiously waiting for him to finish and leave so I could park my car. Clearly he was in control and he milked the opportunity… so much so that another person came, loaded their vehicle and left before this guy finished. I ended up taking that spot instead, with some level of satisfaction that the guy with control issues never got to achieve a power-play orgasm. Clearly he would have climaxed while backing out ever so slowly, suddenly stopping for traffic that wasn’t there. Still, I was completely pissed off at this obvious and pathetic need to control.

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Siri Is A Psycho B—-!

The other evening, as I was getting ready for bed, I remembered I had a doctors appointment coming up so I asked Siri, my iPhone assistant, when it was.

“Your next doctor’s appointment is at 10 AM tomorrow.” she said in her Australian female voice that always sounds like she’s grinning.

“Oh shit” I thought to myself, that was close, I almost missed my appointment, thank goodness for Siri! I tucked myself into bed and drifted off to sleep feeling like my world was perfectly organized thanks to my faithful digital companion.

The next morning was one of those you tend to remember for the next couple of weeks. I was rushing to get out the door and the forces of nature were clearly working against me. Everything from my dogs being uncooperative during their walk, to crazy drivers, to a lady literally sitting in her car at the parking garage entrance, waiting for an attendant to push the button for her to get a ticket. Maybe she was a germaphobe but seriously what else could go wrong? It was already 10 AM and I had to find parking in this very strangely laid out garage. I ended up finding a spot almost instantly, but of course the young girl in the car had to check her Facebook before driving away, fully aware of me waiting patiently. I’m sure she was basking in the temporary sense of power the Universe bestowed upon her.

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My Mom Made Me Gay

My mom made me gay. Okay, of course that’s not true. She made me gay-er. I most certainly would have been less dramatic, not such a hopeless romantic, more masculine and all sorts of cool things if it hadn’t been for her. I don’t think I would have been straight, I have just never been attracted to women. I’m one of those gay guys on the scale of sexuality that’s one hundred percent gay. I like men probably more than women like men and I might be under emphasizing that point. It’s just that my mom inadvertently did all these things that most other gay men would have considered her to be the ultimate fag hag. But for me it was just annoying. My mom didn’t do this intentionally, she was just being herself, but I was definitely raised by a gay man trapped in a straight woman’s body.

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