Hello 2019 – Cleaning Out My Vibrational Closet

It’s been a while since I last cleaned out my vibrational closet, let’s see… what could possibly be in there? Oh yes, how could I’ve forgotten… that FaceBook post I wrote in August, I’m sure it’s still pissing off at least three or four people a day. Oh wow and look at that, a Yelp! review that will forever tarnish the reputation of a server I had at that new restaurant in town. Perhaps they were having a really bad day, but now the internet makes it easier than ever to reproduce that horrible experience like a karmic photo copier… over and over. Thinking about this might make you smile with satisfaction and rub your hands together like an evil villain in the original Batman TV series, or it just might make you realize that your actions are putting out bad vibrations over and over… that far outweigh any inconvenience or bitter cappuccino. Are you really making the world a better place? Or are you polluting the Universe with negative energy that will eventually find its way back to you? My bet is on the latter, which is why I’ve decided to clean out my vibrational closet as part of my New Years resolutions.

Just about a week ago, Yelp! lost a pretty cool user. My profile and combined reviews would be viewed thousands of times a month. I would often receive notifications about fellow Yelpers complimenting me on my reviews and even the occasional “you look hot” in my inbox. Leave it to my fellow gay men to turn Yelp into another hookup site. On my last visit though, I got sort of this bad sensation in my gut, a sort of “this is doing more harm than good feeling.”     I decided right then and there that the world would be a better place, however small a difference, if there was one less complainer in this world. Now before all you Elite Yelpers (yes that’s a thing) jump down my throat, it’s a marketing law of physics that humans are more likely to tell people about a bad experience than a good one, and while they’re at it, tell a lot of people about that experience. So as I’ve said before, Yelp! is an inherently negative platform. Well it now has one less bitch in its user database.

Find the positive, it’s there if you look for it.

Deleting my Yelp! account felt pretty amazing. In spiritual circles the importance of “letting it go” is mentioned over and over and over. It makes sense since holding onto a grudge is pretty low vibe, just ask your favorite priest, rabbi, cleric, pastor, shaman, daily pot smoker… it’s just not a good thing to do. So why do it electronically? If it wasn’t bad enough that you could ruin someone’s day by telling them off in person, why would you do it in perpetuity? Holy shit think about what you’re doing to yourself energetically! This ability wasn’t present until social media came into being, so it’s pretty recent… are we already noticing the long term effects? You tell me.

I wasn’t going to stop with Yelp! after it felt so good releasing that negativity. Next stop, Twitter. That place is like a huge neighborhood of people in a bad mood. If you ever thought I was a nice person just take a look at my former Twitter feed and you’ll see someone you didn’t think existed. Twitter is the worlds best place to quickly and efficiently spread bad news and horrible events. Not only can you retweet a person’s views, you can retweet a comment about the views and so on and so on. You have the ability to create endless chains of dark information designed for the most part, to move people into anger or emotional distress. And on the off chance you’ve found a nice tweet, there will be someone that wants to fuck up your day in the thread and reply with something downright toxic. So Twitter  had to go as well… all my tweets and re-tweets… poof! Once again the Universe reacted with a “thank you Mike for cleaning up your shit” and I felt great.

With two platforms down and one to go, FaceBook would be a problem. When I was a kid my Sunday school teachers would tell me that the devil was dangerous because he would mix the truth and lies together. Later I would come to realize that Satan owns most of the major news networks (except PBS, don’t fuck with PBS, I’m a member and I love them), newspapers and oh yes, FaceBook. The problem is there’s a lot of good on FaceBook, a lot of wonderful people (not to mention friends and family) trying to accomplish a lot of wonderful things. Except when you realize that wonderful person supports an ideology, be it political or otherwise, that turns your stomach. But wait, you saw the light in them and you love them, so there’s a lot of good there… it’s only what you discovered that made you change your mind. Yeah, totally like Janet Jackson in her Rhythm Nation 1814 Album, it’s only “the knowledge” that sets us apart and defines differences where we wouldn’t have known otherwise.


“It’s hard to be right all the time but every now and then you have to forgive people that are dumb.”

So here’s how I approached FaceBook. First off I did a detox for two weeks and it felt pretty darn awesome. I felt so distanced from the all the “share if you care” posts (seriously if I did that for every one of them I wouldn’t have time to use the bathroom, never mind post anything of my own) and all the people that were just wrong in their personal beliefs. You know the ones we’re talking about, they pick a platform that most of the known Universe doesn’t agree with but they’re suddenly an expert and the internet allows them to find three million of their closest crazy friends and they now think they’re right. Which is actually another bad thing about FaceBook, you can find anyone to agree with you. There is always someone available to say you’re right and it’s okay, no matter how fucked up you are. Detoxing from all this felt amazing and I was able to re-watch Downton Abbey a second time and practice more knitting.

Secondly I forgave everyone that was dumb. It’s hard to be right all the time but every now and then you have to forgive people that are dumb. Okay I’m just kidding, I’m not really like that, but you have to stop hating people that believe differently than you do. Suddenly that’s become so acceptable and it’s super unhealthy. Enough of this “us versus them” crap already, it’s incredibly toxic. And you can help make a difference by not posting the “us versus them” crap in the first place. Yeah it’s tough when you’re an activist like me but you have to realize that you’re not going to change anyone’s mind on social media. It’s like trying to convince someone in the car that just blew the stop sign that they were wrong. You know how angry people get in a car even when God and Mother Mary knows they almost killed five people. Remember that social media is new and people used to get their point across by example and good conversation over coffee… what ever happened to that? Stop being a part of the problem.

Lastly I’ve limited my time online thus minimizing exposure to the radioactive crap that’s out there. It’s bad enough people look at their phones all the time. Put your mobile device in your pocket and notice the trees and the sky around you. Listen to the sounds and observe the colors that make up the physical world. I love going to the beach with my partner Eric, but it seems after we’re done taking our share of selfies, most people around are buried in their devices. You make this trip to enjoy the sun, the surf and the sand and then you don’t look at it. What’s the point of even going?

So take a deep breath and start cleaning up your vibrational closet and get rid of the low vibe crap that will eventually come back in your direction. Change your perspective about all those posts and realize what it is they’re really doing. If you’re pissed off about service, let a manager know and let it go. Don’t set out to ruin a business or someone’s job just because you’ve let life make you bitter. Start with just one platform and notice how it feels not being part of the problem. If you have something to say or something you’re angry about, take real action. Go join a group, volunteer, or do something that will actually count. The Universe will thank you and in turn, you’ll feel great.

Just let it go Elsa.