Grilled Steak Condo Style

steak like it was meant to be enjoyed

Living in a condominium has its perks… being able to grill your favorite steak on a barbecue isn’t one of them.  Sure, your neighbors might not have a problem with open flame, tanks of fuel, and smoke flooding into your living room through open windows (as nature finds a breeze way,) but the local fire department does.  Chances are your association rules also prohibit this prehistoric method of preparing a meal, one that seems to give everyone the warm and fuzzies.   If you’re like me, you also have only electric appliances as natural gas in the attention deficit age of Instagram and Facebook doesn’t mix well with high population density.

So how does one serve a delicious grilled bovine dinner that tastes like it was made in an expensive steak house?   In like 15 minutes?  Allow me to introduce myself, I am the Geek With Muscles and I have spent years solving this very problem.   Stick with me kid and I’ll make you famous.   Take it from a serious meat eater that loves cows just as much as he loves eating them… that means source your food responsibly.

You do need some specialized equipment, I use a Cuisinart Griddler and since my recipe is based on the times and settings of this amazing piece of equipment, you need one too.   Go and buy one now and then continue reading…

First you’ll need to acquire some grass fed steak, I prefer a New York Strip, about an inch and a half thick.     The thickness is important as it allows you some nice charring without over cooking the meat.   Place it on some aluminum foil and coat it with light olive oil on both sides.    Next sprinkle with some kosher salt, fresh ground pepper, a good amount of onion power and a bit of garlic powder.    I also like “Accent” on the steak, yes I know it’s MSG but the stuff is found naturally in grapes too, so stop eating those while you’re at it.  Sprinkle the spices on both sides of the steak.

Before you go any further, don’t be a moron and take some time to read the instructions of your griddler completely.    If you burn your house down it’s your own fucking fault.  The griddler makes a lot of smoke when hot, so open a  window for ventilation or your place will smell like a Denny’s for a week.  You’ll also set off several smoke detectors and your neighbors will hate you even more than they already do for not inviting them to dinner.

Next you’re going to turn on your Cuisinart by turning the center selector knob all the way to the right to Grill / Panini mode, activating both the top and the bottom plates so the steak cooks evenly.    Then set the knob on the right to “sear,” which is the highest heat setting.    Wait for the unit to heat completely as indicated in the instruction manual.   On my unit the lights turn green, yours may be different.

go to a store with a coupon and get this $100 griddler

Now here’s the fun part.    Safely open the grill (it’s hot as hell), place the steaks on the bottom plate, making sure the “floating” hinge of the Cuisinart is doing it’s thing when you lower the top.   For perfect medium rare, cook the steaks no longer than 6 and a half minutes (for 1.5 inch steaks).   When the steaks are done, shut off the unit and carefully remove the steaks.  Allow them to sit for 10 minutes before serving.

get fancy and make some green beans with bacon

Make sure to tell your guests that they’re about to taste the most delicious steaks ever because they won’t believe you.   Watch as the gates of heaven open when they sample this amazing solution that only a Geek With Muscles could provide you.    I like to serve these steaks with some Uncle Ben’s Whole Grain Brown & Wild Rice in a microwave bag.   It sounds like shit but tastes incredible.

Enjoy.   🙂

 

 

 

My Favorite Chimmichurri Recipe

 

For those of you that have never heard of chimmichurri, it’s a topping traditionally used for meats in Latin American cuisine.  I’m addicted to the stuff.  In the past I had tried so many chimmichurri recipes, and none of them gave me the flavor I’ve experienced in really great Churrascarias (all you can eat steak houses) .    They all tasted like they were missing something, so I decided to just experiment until I found the right combination that was simple to make, but hit a home run for my taste buds.   I made this for a work event once, and my co-workers divided it amongst themselves to take home afterwards.   I use it on steak, chicken, mix it in rice and even scrambled eggs.  It also makes a great topping for sliced french bread.  Yum!!  The best part is, you can add additional ingredients like red pepper flakes if you like a kick, but I find the garlic already does that.

It keeps for about a week in fridge.  Enjoy!!

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Where Shopping Should Be A Pleasure

Our society has changed lots in the last 100 years, technology is often the focus of these changes and many times blamed for them.   From workplace automation killing jobs formerly filled by humans, to the decline of bookstores thanks to e-readers, technology is almost always left holding the candlestick in the library with some rope for good measure.  Recently Amazon.com and other online retailers have been designated the destroyer of brick and mortar stores, the likes of which we haven’t seen in decades.    Macy’s, BestBuy, Sears and even Walmart aren’t immune to the sting of e-commerce.    But what if this change or evolution in the way consumers buy goods is only partially due to technology and more of a symptom of something bigger and greater?  While everyone is trying to compete with online giants like Amazon and increase their online presence, perhaps they should be looking no further than their own stores and realize they forgot how to do something.    Customer service.

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Having An NVE (Near Vegetarian Experience)

very chicken tasting chikin’ sandwhich

Everything in life is a journey, and I concluded a very positive and eye opening one this spring.   I spent almost four months as a quasi vegetarian, eating absolutely no beef, pork or chicken (not including eggs), in an effort to rid my body of toxins and a lot of guilt.   While home sick one winter day (technically speaking) in Miami, I decided to watch a documentary on NetFlix called Food Inc.    While not entirely about the low standards regarding animal welfare, the film really exposed what’s wrong with our food system in general.   I felt sick to my stomach after watching how processed our food is, how horrible many of the animals and people in the industry are treated, and how big business has done away with small farmers as we once knew them.  After the film was over I literally got up and proceeded to throw stuff away from my fridge.    I didn’t want anything to do with processed lunch meats or anything else that was “factory farmed”.  I instantly decided to become a vegetarian and set out to let everyone know what I just learned.

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