I’m so tired as of late. There are so many things that need fixing on this planet, and I tend to be a fixer kind of person. This used to even manifest in my relationships… I would meet someone and if they were troubled in some way, holy crap I would catch myself falling for them almost immediately. Their good looks coupled with a hard luck story was too much for me to resist. Luckily I identified that predisposition at a very young age, so I was able to diagnose what was behind that almost magical attraction later on. Still the innate urge to be an activist, to fix a neighborhood, address a community issue, campaign for the individual that will bring about change for the greater good and of course advocating and being a voice for others weighs heavily on me. More than ever. Not being able to somehow throttle these urges when we’re more connected via technology than ever, rapidly leads me to exhaustion. With every waking moment I could be helping dogs in China, kids in Syria, Koalas in Australia, Wolves in North America… and the list goes on. I need to somehow learn how to focus my attention on something that’s important to me, and limit how much energy I expend on them. I’m not bragging about this as if it’s a badge of honor, it’s quite the opposite. It’s almost a curse of sorts.

I know where this all happened. This is all the fault of Dr. Seuss and his creation, The Lorax. I still remember the first time I ever watched the animated film in what I believe was the first grade. I remember the film projector in the classroom having issues in the very beginning, and how happy I was when my teacher got it working. This story of a creature being a voice for something that couldn’t speak, shaped me from that day forward. “I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees.” would be a phrase I would never forget. The only problem is now I am trying to speak for everything and everyone and while I take short breaks, I always find myself back where I started. Of course Dr. Seuss is only one part of the problem, the other is having the ability to know about so many things in such a short amount of time… yeah we call that Social Media.

If you’ve ever put yourself into the place of appreciating what a wonderful planet we live on, and how wonderful people are, you know how great that feels. You see so much light in everything and even the people you see on the street seem like they’re smiling more that usual. However spending only a couple of minutes on social media and you’ll see people talking about things which horrify you… and they might be boasting about it. I remember how gut wrenching it felt when I realized an online friend of mine was pretty much a racist, or when I was seeing family members spread stories filled with misinformation and downright lies. How could this be possible? How could so many people… special people… people you love and admire, have such skewed views of the world? They obviously need fixing too and it just so happens I’m great at that. Fuck, here we go again. Yet before social media, I never knew they needed to be fixed. They were only comfortable in displaying this side because they had found other racists to back them up and share racist ideas with…. so they were happy and felt safe sharing their true nature. Perfect, perhaps I can work with them and help them understand what’s wrong… Lord help me.

So what if, as this post title suggests, I just try to take the path of least resistance? What if I just let the world go to hell in a hand basket and sit back and enjoy everything I’ve been blessed with? I’m a huge fan of Law of Attraction, and my day to day life is shaped around trying to be in the place of allowing good things, people and experiences to come to me. The expression, “what you resist will persist”, probably came from someone that observed the Law Of Attraction working, and perhaps even consciously knew of the concept. After all, we all know of a friend or family member that’s always walking around saying “nothing ever works for me” and guess what, nothing ever does. And no one is really surprised. They’re acknowledging the presence of Law Of Attraction without mentioning it by name. So technically, if I resist all these things that are upsetting me, there will actually be more of it in my awareness. That’s just not a statement in spiritual practice, it’s mathematical. If I’m working to save the trees, then I see a lot of trees, and a lot of tree destruction to go along with it. Still, ignoring the problem doesn’t make it go away.

” I need to find some kind of sweet spot, somewhere I can make a difference and not feel exhausted, but also not feel like I’m just being a disconnected individual with a very myopic view of the planet. “

Law Of Attraction goes on to say, that if I’m thinking about the positive aspects of the world, I will attract other people that also feel the same way. Then all of us happy thinking people will attract cooperative components that will help us work together, almost effortlessly, in bringing about the world that we’re thinking about so positively. In other words we become the change we’re looking for, and like a magnet, attract people and situations that will help us spread this attitude… thus effecting change. And that’s amazing, because I can enjoy my blessings, sip my margarita on my cruise, and me enjoying life is going to help kids in Syria… and save trees. And believe it or not, I sometimes go to that ideological place when taking a break from my activism and fixing people. But then something creeps into my awareness… something called “spiritual bypass.” Why oh why did I need to learn about this? Dr. Ding, this part is completely your fault. 😉

The concept of spiritual bypass is super easy. It’s when you give up on trying to change or work on something… anything… a condition on the globe or even something within yourself, and use religion or spirituality as an excuse to ignore it. This can seem pretty benign at times, or even comforting. People use phrases like “It’s God’s will…” and that pretty much wraps up any feelings and or emotions for the faithful, or so it would seem, because a deity ordained it as some part of a bigger plan. No use in fighting city hall, or God in this case, it’s all good. Time to move on folks, there’s nothing you can do about it. Or, in extreme cases, spiritual bypass can be used as way of explaining some pretty horrible experiences, which is probably where it’s most dangerous. Some religions blame bad things on the devil, while others, especially in New Age circles might refer to “soul contracts” as a way of explaining why you were raped by your uncle. Yeah no shit, this is really a way of thinking in certain circles. Kind of makes it hard to express anger when you both made this deal before being born doesn’t it? Yeah so I can’t spiritual bypass my way out of wanting to help people… that would be completely contrary to who I am.

So here’s my dilemma… I can’t save the world, it’s making me so tired trying, I love Law Of Attraction, but I want to be involved and actively participate in making the world a better place. Because I’m a multipotenialite and have so many varied interests, I care about a lot of different causes. I need to find some kind of sweet spot, somewhere I can make a difference and not feel exhausted, but also not feel like I’m just being a disconnected individual with a very myopic view of the planet. Abraham Hicks often speaks of a cork floating on the surface of the ocean, and that’s the sweet spot I’m supposedly looking for. You can view the problems of the planet from there, but you’re not getting wrapped up in the problems and “sucked down” into them. But how is it possible to be involved in an issue and not get wrapped up in it? I don’t want to spiritual bypass my way through life, I want real world solutions and answers. And yet the more I practice Law Of Attraction, the better my life seems to get. And the better my life gets, the more I want to help others get their lives together and share my blessings. What a fucking mess. And please, I can hear some people saying “get off the cross, someone needs the wood.” Again I have to say I’m not trying to boast or brag about the type of person I am, because I know plenty of people just like me, and they’re much more successful at getting things done… and much much more deserving of praise. What I’m trying to do here is balance a spiritual / Universal premise, with a logistical, interpersonal, socioeconomic, environmental nightmare.

Any advice?

Time is truly perceived in the eye of the beholder. When I was just a young kid and my world consisted of cartoons and playing outside after school, the concept of a decade was unknown to me. It was impossible to understand this unit of time since I hadn’t even existed on the planet for ten years, let alone be fully aware for even half that amount. By the time you reach drinking age, you feel like you know everything there is to know and people in their 30’s are considered old. Holidays like Christmas and New Years become reasons to party and it becomes perfectly acceptable to stay awake the entire night, engaging in behavior you might learn to regret later in life, and of course bragging about it until then. You look forward to the newness of the upcoming year with optimism, excitement and wonder, speculating what it might bring. Then, suddenly, often with little notice or warning, things begin to change. Staying up past 9:30 becomes more of a chore than a luxury, and your view of things, now with a much more larger, detailed and complex data set, begins to change. You start to notice patterns, cycles and the concept of a decade, once this huge block of unperceivable time, becomes shorter, familiar and forms into a much greater perspective of life. Next year I’ll turn 49, and while many complement me on still looking like I’m in my 30’s, I sure as hell don’t feel like it, and the way I view life has changed even more.

I’ll always remember, as I suppose most will, how horrible and anxious I felt the first time I stopped seeing someone I was interested in. As a young closeted gay man, I latched onto the first guy that reciprocated sexual attraction, especially since you didn’t know when you might run into one again. The world was completely different, and meeting other gay men was often risky at best. There was a very real possibility of being physically harmed should your suspicions have been inaccurate, and they ended up being straight and not very understanding of your dilemma. Breaking up, or the gay equivalent, was a horrible process and it seemed like life was over. Now, with a much better frame of reference, you realize that sometimes things just don’t work out, even at times for the better. While at times you may be in the worse emotional state of your life, eventually you will heal and things will improve. You learn that being alone isn’t so bad after all, and when you do have that special someone in your life, you learn to appreciate the time you have together so much more…knowing that life is completely unpredictable, and sometimes that’s a good thing.

I think one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in my 40’s, was just only realized this past year or so, and that’s to live in the present. I got around to reading the book The Power Of Now by Eckart Tolle, and then a friend offered to take me to one of his speaking engagements here in Miami. I started to look at life much differently and began to appreciate the “nowness” of what is. And while I still look into the future and hope for a much better one, I have a set of tools to recognize what I’m doing and focus on what’s in front of me before I miss it. This takes practice of course and I’m still very much learning, but I’m getting so much better at identifying everything around me that’s actually going great, and trying to stay in that place of appreciating it. Going for a walk and enjoying trees and sunshine has taken on a completely different feeling, because I’m not wondering if life will be great next month or how I’ll get this or that accomplished, I’m thinking about how nice the warm sun feels on my face and how beautiful the trees are. I’m staring in awe at a humming bird or listening to birds sing and realizing there’s a cardinal in the tree next to me. I’m enjoying and living in the moment itself, not worrying about a future that may never even be available for me to experience. The only bad thing about this frame of mind, is the tendency to wish you discovered it sooner, having wasted so much time thinking and worry about things that never came to pass.

The Universal Law of Attraction has also been huge for me the past couple of years, enabling me with further insight as to why certain things happen and what I can do to change. It has answered many questions for me and created some more in the process. It’s the only principle that seems to fill in the holes of so many belief systems, or at the very least, bridge them together. It doesn’t satisfy every need for me, but it’s come much closer than anything else. It also seems to be a concept that so many practice already without even knowing, and yet illusive in your awareness until you’re absolutely ready for it. I’ve realized the hard way you can’t explain it to someone, they just won’t get it until they’re ready, so I won’t even try here. However I couldn’t write about what I’ve learned during the last ten years without mentioning it.

” I know that my goal won’t give me happiness unless I learn to be happy before reaching it. “

I’ve also learned not to care so much about things I can’t change, to pick my battles more carefully and the power of saying no. I’ve learned that people often don’t have your best interests in mind and the only person that will never intentionally let you down is yourself. And if you do manage to screw yourself over, holy shit it feels bad. I’ve learned I can’t fix the problems of the world or be all things to all people. I continue to learn every day, practicing what’s already come into my awareness… because knowing something is much different than actually applying it… and so I’m learning that as well. Of course I’m also learning there’s so much left to learn and I’m hungry for more. I’m not concerned about being the best at something anymore, I’m concerned about forgetting I’m still a student.

So what do I expect for the next decade? Nothing. Expectations are the mother of all fuck ups, not to mention I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and it wouldn’t matter anyways. Which is totally bizarre because it seems the moment I became aware of the decades I’ve lived and what I’ve learned from them, is the moment I realized to stop counting them. Live in the now and live your best life to the best of your abilities. Enjoy every moment for what it has to offer, be thankful for the days that your back doesn’t hurt and when you have an hour to spare with nothing to do, but to just be. I still have goals but I’m also aware of the many milestones I’ve encountered on the way to them. I know that my goal won’t give me happiness unless I learn to be happy before reaching it. I’m open to changing those goals as my awareness changes, knowing that being flexible will make you a much happier person. So I end this by wishing you all the same for the upcoming year, may you be blessed with knowledge, love, prosperity and health, and the awareness of its presence in your life. So many have everything they could ever want in life, but are completely blind to it.

Happy New Year from The Geek With Muscles. XOXO