My First Week On Facebook

Many of you have never known a world without Facebook. By the time you were old enough to read and use a computer, this revolutionary technology of communication and complex algorithms that identified friend or foe was already around. You’ve never known a world without a friends list, a world without a wall or timeline, a world without this connection that spans continents, age, sex or sexuality. You’ve been born into this arena of mass communication that I never knew. Until now.

I decided to join Facebook only for selfish reasons, I was a frustrated writer and I wanted the world to see what I had to offer, wanted an audience that would appreciate what I had to say. I wasn’t prepared for what I would find. Initially it was much of the same, guys looking to hook up. After all, I was fresh meat as my partner Eric put it, the new kid on the block people had somehow missed while looking for new friends to add to their ever growing list.

But what I found was humanity in it’s best and worst forms. I found people bearing their souls, telling anyone that would listen about the darkest times in their lives. I found people sharing stories of hope and love, and I found the in-between… people neither happy nor sad, just those content with telling others about the remains of their day.

In this first week of Facebook I’ve seen some pretty intense drama but I’ve also seen a global community seeking change. I’ve seen a collective consciousness crying out to the Universe, wanting its voice to be heard, needing empathy and compassion, love and respect. I’ve seen hearts broken and families reunited. I’ve seen way too many puppies and kittens and other furry creatures that still manage to make me laugh. I’ve seen what it is to be human. The good, the bad and the not so certain.

While the technology is old in industry terms, and some would argue its time has come and gone, I think there’s a more important ideal it brings to those seeking truth. It’s our message in the bottle, our representation of what the human race considers dear and precious, no matter how obscure the author is or was.

Perhaps in a millennia or so, the Earth might be a charred cinder, floating in space, the end result of occupants too intelligent for their own good. But in the ash, perhaps a server or two will survive and provide some passerby a glimpse into what it was to be human. That in itself is priceless.

Thank you Facebook.

Gay Men And Boundaries, Or Lack Therof

My coming out process as a gay man wasn’t an easy one. I was suicidal, I didn’t want to be gay, I couldn’t imagine myself doing the “honey I’m home” thing with another guy, and there weren’t any positive role models in the media that showed what life as a gay man was really like. My first exposure to gay relationships on the big screen was a movie called Partners with Ryan O’Neal and John Hurt and it terrified me. One gay stereotype after another was exploited for laughs in this comedy of the early 80’s. If this is what it meant to be gay, you could count me out. Eventually, with lots of therapy and support from my family (turns out I was the only one who had a problem with me being gay), I learned to accept myself and went from experiencing constant anxiety and fear, to pride and self confidence. I learned that the many gay stereotypes I feared growing up, were just that. They lacked truth and I could discount them as hate fueled propaganda. That is, all except one, and it continues to bother me to do this day.

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Having An NVE (Near Vegetarian Experience)

very chicken tasting chikin’ sandwhich

Everything in life is a journey, and I concluded a very positive and eye opening one this spring. I spent almost four months as a quasi vegetarian, eating absolutely no beef, pork or chicken (not including eggs), in an effort to rid my body of toxins and a lot of guilt. While home sick one winter day (technically speaking) in Miami, I decided to watch a documentary on NetFlix called Food Inc. While not entirely about the low standards regarding animal welfare, the film really exposed what’s wrong with our food system in general. I felt sick to my stomach after watching how processed our food is, how horrible many of the animals and people in the industry are treated, and how big business has done away with small farmers as we once knew them. After the film was over I literally got up and proceeded to throw stuff away from my fridge. I didn’t want anything to do with processed lunch meats or anything else that was “factory farmed”. I instantly decided to become a vegetarian and set out to let everyone know what I just learned.

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