Tearing Your Bicep Off The Bone

Humans do really stupid things.  It really is a miracle that we’re all still here on this planet, going about our lives, raising families, when we must make at least ten stupid mistakes a day.     They can be really obvious at times, like people running red lights, texting while driving and parents not watching kids… all examples of the more traditional stupid choices the fully conscious and aware make on a regular basis.  Then there’s the unexpected, but fully preventable accidents which make TV shows like America’s Funniest Home Videos, such a hit.  You know, the program that gives us permission to laugh and take pleasure in the pain, suffering and embarrassment of others.  While an extremely successful concept for ABC, it does offer the viewer a chance to learn from someone else’s follies.   In this same spirit, I thought I’d share a mistake I made, which led to the very bizarre and painful experience of literally tearing my bicep muscle off the bone.  It’s really something you don’t want to try at home.

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Stupid Body Builder Tricks

In the almost 25 years it’s been since I started working out, I’ve seen some pretty bizarre behavior at the gym.  There’s all the standard alpha male displays that guys do, evolutionary remnants of the days when we just learned how to walk upright… which you sort of have to look past.   It’s going to be another thousand years at least before men get over it, two thousand if you’re Latin (machismo is very big, I know I grew up with it).   But there’s other stuff guys do at the gym that’s just plain dumb and annoying.    So the following is my list of the top ten stupid things body builders do at the gym.

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Having An NVE (Near Vegetarian Experience)

very chicken tasting chikin’ sandwhich

Everything in life is a journey, and I concluded a very positive and eye opening one this spring.   I spent almost four months as a quasi vegetarian, eating absolutely no beef, pork or chicken (not including eggs), in an effort to rid my body of toxins and a lot of guilt.   While home sick one winter day (technically speaking) in Miami, I decided to watch a documentary on NetFlix called Food Inc.    While not entirely about the low standards regarding animal welfare, the film really exposed what’s wrong with our food system in general.   I felt sick to my stomach after watching how processed our food is, how horrible many of the animals and people in the industry are treated, and how big business has done away with small farmers as we once knew them.  After the film was over I literally got up and proceeded to throw stuff away from my fridge.    I didn’t want anything to do with processed lunch meats or anything else that was “factory farmed”.  I instantly decided to become a vegetarian and set out to let everyone know what I just learned.

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A Gay Man’s Guide To Losing Body Fat

ancient grains pasta, baby spinach and feta cheese with olive oil

It seems like every couple of years there’s a new diet craze and everyone jumps on board.     “Lose 10 pounds in ten days!” the headlines will read as everyone is walking around the office with little shakers in their hands, little satchels of nuts or perhaps some pills they have to swallow 5 times a day.  In several weeks you’ll see people actually losing the weight and you may be tempted to join all the fun and hype.   But you feel much better when you see the same people gaining the weight back and you say to yourself “yeah, I knew it wasn’t going to work.”

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